I’m spending the final couple of hours of 2009 in my daughter’s bed, with nothing better to do than to write. I’ve been neglecting my blog (again!), so I thought what better way to spend these final hours than to write (not?).
Sad I know, but I’m trying to put everything in writing so I have the perspective outlined clearly if someday my hideous mind decided to loose it’s perspective.
Why I blog and why I neglect? I blog because I want to keep a memoirs of my emotion from chain of events happening in my life. I am not the bubbly girl everyone thought I am. What I am is, grey, gloomy, cranky, fierce but always try to be positive and strong despite everything. What shaped me is how I deal with these emotions that came so strongly and sometimes I became emotionally inept that people seemed to think I’m an Ice queen. Believe me, on the inside It’s more or less can be described as thunderstorm!
I neglect because most of the time I’m such a hiprocryte! I’m too lazy of doing anything AT ALL! It’s as basic as that.
My goal is to become a better person in 2010. Easier said than done, of course!
I keep chanting to myself, I can get through this, I can do better, I can be better.
So better, here I come, ready or not! I hope I am ready. For the better. Ok, I keep repeating myself. But to repeat something is good, so it got imprinted within the mind, and the mind automatically do.